We can’t look after my Dad anymore
a warm welcome to DTP
what a worrying situation for you all
please contact the emergency number for Adult Services on your Local Authority 's website .... tell them exactly what has been happening, do not hold back... say that both your parents are 'vulnerable adults', that your dad is 'at risk of harm' due to his dementia and behaviour' and that your mum is 'at risk of harm due to her husband's aggression and violence' ... let them know that you understand that the LA has 'the duty of care' to ensure your dad's care needs are met and that you believe their situation is now 'a safeguarding issue'
the phrases in '' ought to get the LA's attention
be clear on what you want to happen .... I assume you intend that your dad move to residential care
if Powers of Attorney are in place, the Attorneys can go ahead and arrange a move ... your dad's behaviour is testemony to his lack of capacity to make this decision, though be aware that if your parents refuse help it is trickier, this is where some fudging of what's going to happen (more respite, a holiday) or sectioning comes in ... but sectioning can only be begun by professionals so speak with your dad's GP and give them all the facts
if your dad's finances are such that he will self-fund his care fees, you can find a care home for him .... but tell them how he behaves and make sure they can deal with challenging behaviour as not all homes are able to
if your dad's finances are low, the LA will contribute to his fees and will have to be involved in arranging his care plan
this explains finances
Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.
do call the Support Line to talk this all through in real time, the advisors are approachable and knowledgeable ... link in post 3
