My mother has Alzheimer's. She keeps repeating herself. Ask me questions every hour. I'm losing my ****.

I absolutely hate this situation. My mother has Alzheimer's. I'm extremely angry at her. I know it's not her fault. It's just the resentment. Come on now. "Stop ******* repeating yourself" She has no idea what she's doing anymore. Every hour she keeps making up stories or she repeats herself multiple times throughout the day about the same thing I already told her 10 times.
She seems so helpless. She has no idea what day it is. It gets worse of at night. She forgot who I was and asked me (my name) where I went to.

I hate seeing her like this. She's completely the opposite of who she used to be.

I'm ****** off beyond anything because of this situation.

Any solutions other than hiring a respite caregiver or asking family for help. It feels like a waking nightmare every I take a break.

God, I really feel for you. This was me about 9 months-a year ago. I lived with my mum before she went into care. Every ten minutes she'd barge in with the same question. No thought to my privacy. No clue she'd asked it 1,000 times already...

My mum lost all sense of who she'd been and it was horrible and frankly terriying. You're not supposed to see your parent so fragile and lost. For most of us, parents were our protectors. They guided us. Then the tables get reversed in a sick parody, they become like toddlers - or some weird combo of a teenage-toddler who won't listen to you.

I understand the resentment too. It creeps up on you. Caring is absolutely exhausting. It's not a job, that at 5pm you can leave. It's 24/7. I think you may be close to experiencing burn out from the sound of things.

So some practical solutions:

If she bursts into your room - get a lock on it. It doesn't stop the questions but it'll give some privacy

Consider buying an Alexa. Depending on the questions she's asking, Alexa can answer these questions. If it's more what day/time etc it is get her to talk to Alexa and that might take some burden off you.

You could consider using a tape recorder if she asks the same questions - but this won't be much help if it's about day/date stuff.

Sadly, I agree with the other commenters here. The constant questions, the repetitiveness - it's all part of Dementia. It's a symptom that you can't fight. It's essentially brain damage from what I understand - it's like if your mum had been in an accident and suffered head injuries or had a brain tumour.

Part of her brain is broken and unfortunately, it cannot be fixed. I completely understand the frustration, resentment and exhaustion. Resentment is normal - God knows I felt it. But I know it doesn't help your situation to be told this and I'm so sorry we can't give you a solution or fix for this.

There are some things you can try that can ease the situation but, again, no fix:

Resentment: Try writing down your feelings - on a writing pad, computer, whatever. Don't censor yourself. Be ****ed off. Swear and rant about your mum. Write your frustrations and fears. Get it out of your system. Do this as often as you can - daily if possible.

There are lots of youtube videos about dementia - including dealing with resentment (this is normal for carers) and suggestions on how to deal with it. There's also videos on coping with repetitive questions etc.

If it's feasible, I would also suggest get outside help. Your family, friends, neighbors or professionals. Dementia is not a journey you can walk by yourself. Please trust me on that. You WILL need help, as will your mum. The awful truth is she will get worse. It will get to the point that she *will* require professional nursing care and eventually 24/7 nursing care. I went through some denial on this with my mum and wants to do it myself, but in the end I had to get help.

Are your family close to you? Have to talked to them, friends or neighbour? Odds are, most people are kind and sympathetic over this. Almost everyone knows someone who's had dementia - and people pick up on things. If this isn't an option, or even if it is, contact adult social services and explain that you are struggling with your mum and that you're worried about her safety.

This is the key word. Safety. Don't downplay things. Be brutally honest, because otherwise you will be pushed to the back of the queue, and trust me, it's a years long queue.

Has your mum had an offical diagnosis for her dementia yet? If not, get her to the GP asap. Ask for a CT or MRI scan and to be refered to the memory clinic. There are also support groups. There are day centers where you can take your mum and people will look after her while you can get things done.

You need to also look after yourself - easier said than done, I know. But if you burn out, it'll take ages to recover. Keep posting to this forum, there's a wealth of knowledge and experiance here. You can also email Admiral Nurses - they are trained nurses who specialise in Dementia care, you can email or ring the Alzheimer's Society for advice or just if you need someone to talk to. There's also the Samartians helpline you can ring 24/7, 365 days a year.

Talk to your GP, tell them how much you are struggling. Also please consider getting some counseling, talk to a professional. Being a carer and dealing with dementia is bloody hard and heartbreaking. Lots of counselors with offer discounts if money is an issue. There are also some places that offer it free. Please don't discount how helpful counseling can be. You could also look into meditation, mindfulness on YouTube to help you relax - I know that feels impossible right now.

Also - get out the house. Go for a walk around the block. Meet up with someone for coffee. You can't just be with your mum 24/7 - been there and please don't do that.

I wish I could help more. Please keep in contact with everyone. Keep posting here. It helps. I promise.