Linda Cook review: ‘Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard’ is loud, violent

“The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” is loud.

I mean, “Peter Rabbit 2” loud, with characters continually screeching at each other, voices raised over the sounds of gunfire, car engines and explosions.

Possibly you don’t remember the 2017 original crime comedy, “The Hitman’s Bodyguard,” in which Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) has a bodyguard named Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds.)

Darius has a wife named Sonia (Salma Hayek.)

In this one, the characters return, with Sonia a con artist instead of a cocktail waitress.

It opens with Bryce seeing a therapist, who encourages him to go on vacation and try to forget about the life of a bodyguard, which is causing him stress. His therapist encourages him to keep his weapons at home while he takes a breather.

Meanwhile, there’s a villain – not just a bad guy, but a villain – in Aristotle Papadopolous (Antonio Banderas,) who wants to restore Greece as the center of the world.

When Kincaid is kidnapped, Sonia finds Bryce to help rescue him. The movie offers violence, a little dialogue, more violence and Bryce getting the daylights beaten out of him, a couple of laughs and some more violence.

I did like seeing Morgan Freeman on hand, although his role is just plain weird and not particularly funny.

The entire concoction, in fact, is not particularly funny. Sure, I laughed a few times, but it’s one of those movies that doesn’t make sense if you think about it much … or at all. The frenetic pace and the harsh audio – did I mention it’s loud? – cannot distract from its skinny plot and a screen filled with bodies and mayhem. The finale is laughable in a non-comedic way.

It’s nice to see performers of this quality on the big screen again, of course. I look forward to seeing more of them in other movies that aren’t a sequel to this.

1 ½ stars

Rated: R for violence and foul language.

Running time: One hour and 39 minutes.

At Cinemark, Davenport; Regal, Moline; and Palms 10, Muscatine.