How to Stop Being Confrontational

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How do I learn to stop being so confrontational?

I have been with my bf for 2-1/2 years. He is the sweetest, most loving person I have ever encountered. Throughout our relationship, we have always joked around with each other. That’s also one of the traits I love most about him, his sense of humor.

Now, the problem actually lies within me. I know that a majority of the time, when he is telling me something, I find myself trying to refute everything he says. He could tell me something, and even if he’s right, I would try to prove him otherwise.

He tells me that I’m a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but he still loves me nonetheless.

How can I stop being so confrontational and learn to just let it go without always trying to prove him wrong?

I think the problem is also the fact that I have too much pride and I don’t like to admit that I’m wrong sometimes.

Any advice? Thanks.

When you start getting confrontational you have to learn how to stop it in its tracks. I would also suggest you start working on your insecurity issues..because it is insecure people who always feel the need to be right even when they are wrong. If you continue down this road it will eventually turn him off from you. I have been around people who can never acknowledge they are wrong and will try to convince you that the sky is purple when it is very clear that it is blue. after a while I do my best to avoid people like that because they are very irritating. He already told you that you are a hard pill to swallow sometimes. take that as a warning that if you don’t change this bad behaviour he might end up walking away one day when he has had enough.

I think it’s definitely something I have to work on.

I have been on the receiving end of this so I feel I can relate. If you two are really close and can share vulnerabilities, maybe try sharing this trait you see in yourself with him, and ask him if maybe when he sees you doing it he can help you notice it. So maybe you could ask him to say “hey you’re being confrontational right now on an issue that really isn’t a big deal”, it will be a sign for you to step back and decide whether it actually is a big deal to you, or if it’s one of the frivolous confrontations you want to stop doing. You two can work together at it! I’m sure if you two have good communication skills he’d be happy to help you out

One of my friends told me to “choose my battles wisely”. A part of being in a relationship is disagreement and sometimes it’s best to decide which things to stick up for and which to roll with it. I’m also a proud person, but my friend is right. I couldn’t be stubborn over everything with my bf.

Thanks! I think I’ll have to follow that from now on, or bite my tongue.

I would ask why you’re being confrontational. Have you acted this way with other boyfriends in the past, or just him? Are you not comfortable with getting close to him? Are you redirecting any anger you might feel in other areas of your life?

Hmm, now that I think about it, I think I may have been like this with other bf’s in the past as well.

As far as being comfortable and getting close to him, that’s not the issue at all. I’m very comfortable with him, and aside from this, we have a great relationship.

I’m aware that this is something I’ll have to work on, it just seems so difficult sometimes.

I was in a similar situation with my now ex-girlfriend. Like him, I was on the receiving end and at the end, I couldn’t handle anymore our frequents disagreements. More often than not she was trying to prove she was always right. Like you she said she felt comfortable being around me and felt close to me. Additionally, she told me she loved me very much and wanted to make a life with me. Unfortunately, for me, those situations were very hard to handle and I felt very hurt. I’d feel that it just couldn’t be true that she loved me that much if she always wanted to prove she was right. I looked at it as a lack of respect in some way. At the end, I decided to end the relationship with her. It has been so far the most difficult decision I’ve had to take because I loved her and really cared for her but I was feeling very hurt over time. We couldn’t work as a team, towards a common goal; every time we fought, it was worse. A couple is supposed to work towards togetherness rather than “I’m right, you’re wrong”. But maybe he’s also doing something that triggers that confrontation. Very rarely, it’s only someone’s fault. It’s a relationship, it takes two to tango.

• Though it’s often said that your partner cannot “read your mind,” many couples still assume that their partner should know everything without them saying it.

• Passive aggressiveness, though done at times to avoid confrontation, can really be harmful to your relationship.
• Ignoring the signs that make you uneasy — even if small — can cause huge rifts in your relationship if not addressed initially.

Relationships, no matter how new or how old, can be one of the most beautiful parts of life. When you’re in love with your partner, it feels as if everything around you is non-existent and that anything can be conquered simply through love. Although that could be true, when you mix in certain relationship behaviors, things can become tumultuous between you two and in turn, cause things to get unhealthy very quickly. What’s even worse is when you know the behaviors you’ve exhibited or encountered are unhealthy, but you just choose to ignore them.

According to relationship coach Brooke Genn, one of the most ignored mistakes that people make in relationships is leaving their feelings out of it.

“It may sound counterintuitive, as feelings seem to stir things up, but knowing how your partner feels is important, and identifying how you feel is equally vital,” she told INSIDER. “Sharing how you’re feeling from work to romance — outside times of conflict — is a key component to a thriving relationship! You’ll better understand your partner, and be better understood, yourself — which leads to extra compassion and more effective communication.”

Although some people have more hurtful behaviors than others when it comes to relationships, here are 10 that you should cross off your list ASAP.

When people know my diagnosis of bipolar and anxiety disorders — and given my line of work, most do — they tend to assign all of my actions to said diagnosis. Confrontation and disagreement, as an example, turn into signs that I am escalating to a manic state state or having an anxiety or panic attack. But anxiety disorder and confrontation don’t exactly go hand in and hand.

What You Don’t Know about Anxiety Disorders and Confrontation

I have found that people think being confrontational is easier for me than other people because I have mental illness (What Is Stigma?). Society, as a whole, sees disagreement and confrontation as aggressive. They see them as the verbal equivalent of fighting and, certainly, as the escalating step before physical violence.

What leads them to this conclusion is what people don’t know about anxiety disorders. The stereotype of the mentally ill being mere steps away from violence contributes to this, but people also seem to think that aggressive behavior in any form is just comes naturally for the mentally ill. We are often seen as self-absorbed and unable to comprehend another person’s feelings.

What to Know About Anxiety Disorders and Confrontation

What people should know about people with anxiety disorders is that confrontation, debate, and disagreement are some of the most difficult life skills I’ve had to learn. I may have become good at confrontation, if that is a measurable skill, but I do not enjoy it. In fact, I used to avoid confrontation by any means necessary.

In school, I was bullied for many reasons, but I never fought back. I was scared, timid, and just wanted the confrontation to stop. My classmates would taunt me and I wouldn’t say a word in my defense. I would sit there and provide no resistance whatsoever.

When I reached adulthood, I discovered that the schoolyard bully existed as a workplace bully and in many other forms. Aggressive coworkers, manipulative customers, and angry competitors all poured into my office looking to take advantage where they could. Any ground lost by me was gained by them.

The thought of having a panic attack over a confrontation was too great a risk, so I seldom fought back. My fear of this is so great that I sometimes have a panic or anxiety attack if someone doesn’t answer the phone when I call.

My Anxiety Disorder Doesn’t Teach Confrontation Skills

I had to learn how to stand up for myself and for others. It does not come naturally. Confrontation was a skill I had to learn. In fact, it is very difficult. To this day, I have to take a deep breath before a confrontation starts and often will have an anxiety attack when I “come down” from the situation.

Being able to stand up for what I believe in is important and being able to set boundaries with others is equally important. I would much rather give everyone what they want, never say no, and always give in. This, however, will not make me happy.

Anxiety disorders make it more difficult to be involved in conflict. But through therapy, medication, and practice, I have learned to be more assertive. I value these skills and I often chuckle at the idea that people think it comes naturally for me, when in reality it was anything but easy.

Learning how to stop being controlling is essential to maintaining not only your own sense of peace with life but also your professional and personal relationships . If you’ve already determined that you are being controlling in your life, you’re ready to begin the process of letting go of control. While learning how to be less controlling requires both diligence and courage, the fulfillment you’ll find in letting go is well worth the effort.

Close the gaps from where you are to where you want to be

Principles behind how to stop being controlling

The guiding principles behind learning how to stop being controlling are twofold: you must learn to take control of your mind and to get your needs met in healthy and effective ways. Let’s unpack these principles of how to let go of control:

Taking control of your mind

One of Tony Robbins’ core principles is that you can reprogram your mind , which in turn reprograms your behaviors. Instead of letting your unexamined mindset run the show, letting go of control requires examining the limiting beliefs that are driving your behavior. Be intentional about your thoughts and question whether or not they are serving you. For example, the next time you feel anxious or catch yourself wondering how to be less controlling, take a few minutes to assess the situation. Ask yourself: What am I afraid of? What about this situation is making me feel nervous? Think of your inquiries as a brainstorming session in which you are not judging anything that comes to mind. Be kind to yourself and be honest. As you learn to be mindful about your thoughts and reactions, you’ll become more self-aware which will help you in letting go of control.

Learning to get your needs met

The need for a feeling of certainty in life is so elemental to the human experience that it is actually one of our six human needs . When we do not get our needs met, including the need for security, we learn to get those needs met through unhealthy means like trying to control everything around us. Such strategies might seem to work for a while since they create the temporary illusion of safety. However, as time goes on you will begin to notice that if you don’t learn how to stop being controlling, your attempts at control will begin to control you. You need to learn to let go of the past so it stops causing anxiety in the present. You can’t control everything, but you can control your attitude and approach to life.

Strategies for how to stop being controlling

Even if you understand that you can’t control everything, you might still struggle with letting go of control. The good news is that there are strategies you can employ to learn how to stop being controlling, including the following:

1. Educate yourself about anxiety and how to manage it

Rather than falling back on control as a defense against uncertainty , learn all you can about the fear that is driving you to micromanage. You might try reading books about how to let go of control and/or talking with a therapist. Knowledge is power and as you become more informed, you’ll become better able to identify your self-sabotaging behaviors and replace them with healthier ones.

2. Assess whether your efforts at control are effective

When you find yourself wondering how to stop being controlling, ask yourself, “Are my efforts at control making a lasting difference?” For example, suppose you have been calling your unemployed sister every week to see if she’s found a job. Rather than continue the weekly phone calls, ask yourself if your interference is actually helping your sister find employment. If the answer is yes (and your sister enjoys the weekly calls), keep calling! If the answer is no, stop calling! By bringing self-awareness to your behavior you invite greater sensitivity into your interactions with others and with yourself.

3. Get an outside perspective

Instead of approaching letting go of control through your own isolated efforts, enlist the support of a trusted friend or therapist. Pick someone with whom you have a reciprocal relationship, and ask for their input on ways in which you are being controlling. By getting an outside perspective, you’re able to identify and change unconscious behaviors stemming from your perfectionism.

4. Ban control-oriented language from your vocabulary

Learning how to be less controlling requires recognizing the role of language. Learn to recognize the language you use to exercise control – for example, couching unsolicited advice in seemingly benign language (like “have you ever tried…”) or criticizing a friend’s perspective on any given subject. Ask supportive friends to bring these behaviors to your attention as they arise. Recognize that, while it can be tempting to give others advice, the best way to love someone is unconditionally, which means refraining from trying to change them. Altering your language takes courage, and you must commend yourself for learning how to let go of control. Consistent practice will pay off, and you’ll become more aware of when you’re unconsciously trying to change or fix others.

Ready to close the gaps from where you are to where you want to be?

Take the Wheel of Life assessment to evaluate your life and achieve your true balance

You have a passive-aggressive behavior if you indirectly resist authority. People with such behavior indirectly show resentment towards another person. It is never easy to be in a relationship with a passive-aggressive person. These people do not engage in conflicts, but they do not forget and forgive. That anger continues to buildup in them and emerges when events finally reach a more volatile stage. If you find these behavior patterns within yourself, learn to stop being passive aggressive to improve the quality of your life.

How to Stop Being Passive Aggressive

It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who is passive-aggressive by nature. These people do not show their anger right away but keep things buried in their heart and make a move when you least expect anything bad from them. If you believe you have these behavior patterns within yourself, you may want to take the following steps to change this emotional response.

1. Understand Your Behavior Patterns

You cannot learn how to stop being passive aggressive unless you first realize that you have this problem. You develop this type of behavior when you want to please other people. Some people experience these behavior patterns when they try to avoid conflicts and still want to appear confident. Others do not talk about what they do not like just to avoid being criticized or rejected. This is when you convey your message through passive-aggressive behaviors, such as gossip, sarcasm, giving other person the silent treatment, quitting, or stalling. You may find it a better approach to deal with things, but this makes you look cold, butter, insensitive, difficult, and manipulative. Therefore, the first step towards making behavioral changes is to understand more about your response in different situations.

2. Know Your Triggers

You may not handle every situation in a passive-aggressive manner. Most people have certain triggers that make them show a passive-aggress behavior. Writing about your response to different situations will help you identify a pattern and trigger. Once you have identified the triggers, you can simply avoid them the next time to control your behavior.

3. Be More Expressive about Your Needs

You are not going to learn how to stop being passive aggressive until you make a conscious effort to be more expressive. Understand that you have the right to show how you feel and what you want. Once you start believing the fact that you have the right to express your needs, you are less likely to get affected by others’ opinions. This helps you be more direct and keep you from keeping grudges.

To develop that understanding, you have to practice listening to what you really want. You should also take steps to give it to yourself. The idea is to treat your needs, desires, and wants as valid and then experience how good they feel. This will also make you believe that others should treat you in the same manner.

4. Be More Attentive and Analytical

What it means is that you do not always need to do start a conversation with someone to get to know more about them, but you can observe them more and read unspoken messages to improve your emotional response. That observation may show you that the other person is as passive-aggressive as you are. This helps you approach things from a different perspective and even makes it easier to review the whole situation before showing any reaction.

5. Try to Keep Things in Check

You have a passive-aggressive behavior pattern if you do not confirm a problem and instead let it escalate. You may be doing it in many different ways, like procrastinating at work, refusing to do the dishes, and not doing something you are supposed to do. You should try to address the problem before it actually becomes a bigger issue. This will eventually help you change your passive-aggressive behavior.

6. Always Choose Success

Instead of chasing a negative outcome, you should focus your energies on getting successful. You are likely to resort to a passive-aggressive behavior when admitting failure early. Learn to raise your expectations and take pride in your work. If possible, make necessary changes to ensure that your work becomes more fulfilling. You cannot get successful overnight, but the idea is to make positive progress. This will help give up your passive-aggressive behavior and make it easier for you to communicate what your true feelings are.

7. Try to Be Assertive

You develop a passive-aggressive behavior pattern when trying to express what you want but others do not consider it important. It is therefore important to learn how to be more assertive when expressing yourself. Just try to be honest and respectful and others will start considering your opinions too. Understand that it is possible to be direct without hurting someone else’s feelings. For this, avoid playing the blame game and try to express your true feelings in a positive manner.

8. Understand the Importance of Conflicts

To learn how to stop being passive aggressive, you need to make yourself understand that conflicts are not uncommon and can actually help you learn something new. Sometimes, people believe they are having disagreements, but those conflicts are usually nothing more than misunderstandings that can be cleared easily. Your focus should be on making your discussions positive and constructive. When you understand this, you will be in a better position to make compromises and help bring ‘win-win’ results. The idea is to take control of things instead of letting your passive aggressive behavior escalate a problem.

In the wake of terrorist attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand, we vow to unite against racism and hatred. Please join us by sending a message of hope and solidarity to the NZ Muslim community.

Knowing how to respond to racist remarks from friends and relatives can be a minefield. On the one hand, you want to call them out for their misinformed bigotry but doing so can lead to an argument or awkwardness, without actually convincing them to change their view.

So how do you communicate clearly and effectively to help reduce the casual racism that is still prevalent in a lot of Australian communities?

1 Use “I” statements

Your blood might be boiling over your dad’s misguided opinions about particular ethnic groups, but you have to ask yourself if you will achieve your desired outcome by pointing your finger and making accusations.

If you embarrass somebody, call them uninformed or lecture them, then there’s a good chance they will feel as though they are on the back foot and your points may fall on deaf ears.

“Rather than saying ‘You’re a racist’, talk about how those comments are impacting you and how you are feeling about it,” Sue Yorston, who manages Relationships Australia Victoria ‘s social inclusion portfolio, tells Amnesty.

2 Clarify their stance

One of the swiftest ways to an argument is mishearing or misunderstanding somebody’s point. So if you’ve been shocked by what you perceive as a racist outburst, it could be worth getting them to articulate their perspective.

“Sometimes what we say and what we hear are two different things,” Yorston points out. “Somebody might say something and have a different intent and not realise what the impact is going to be.”

3 Talk to them quietly

As tempting as it might be to call a racist out in front of a group, Yorston says sometimes you’ll have a greater persuasive effect if you take them aside quietly later and highlight your concerns.

“You could say something like, ‘What you said before has been sitting with me and I want to talk to you about it’,” she suggests.

“Often we make stereotypical racist-based comments from ignorance so it’s an opportunity to educate and say, ‘Hang on a minute, that hasn’t been my experience’.”

4 Let them walk in others’ shoes

Rather than spouting off facts and figures to back up your point, Yorston says asking them to imagine what things are like for certain groups could allow them to feel more empathy with others’ plight.

“Ask them, ‘If this was happening to you, what would you do? Would you do whatever you could to make sure your children were safe?’ she suggests.

“You might not provide answers – you might be able to ask questions to help them challenge their own stereotypes.”

Immersing yourself in different communities can also give you an arsenal of anecdotes to share to help get your point across.

“You might be able to say, ‘I’m going to challenge your perceptions by telling you a story someone told me about their experience as an asylum seeker’,” Yorston says.

“Ask them, ‘If this was happening to you, what would you do? Would you do whatever you could to make sure your children were safe?’”

5 Be careful you’re not being aggressive

As passionate as you might be about your beliefs, if you develop a reputation for lecturing everybody in your circle in an aggressive way, then your persuasive powers are probably not going to be very effective.

“If you’re genuinely offended then I’d suggest you frame it along the lines of, ‘I’m upset when you say things like that’,” Dr Lauren Rosewarne, University of Melbourne social researcher, told Amnesty. “This helps to personalise it and gives you an opportunity to make it about what those words do to you on a personal level.”

6 Listen to their perspective

As abhorrent as their views might seem, if you don’t give people the respect of listening to their views, then there is little chance that they’ll do the same for you.

New US research suggests that 61 percent of conservatives and 64 percent of liberals prefer to read arguments they already agree with, which means a lot of arguments fall on deaf ears – on both sides of the political fence.

“Participants said that hearing from the other side felt lousy; they reported it was about as unpleasant as taking out the trash or standing in line for 20 minutes,” the psychology researchers from the Universities of Winnipeg and Chicago wrote .

But the University of Winnipeg and University of Illinois researchers say that listening to both sides of an argument could help you get your point across.

“ If their political opponents feel understood, they might be more receptive to hearing what others have to say,” they point out. Listening to the other side could at least help prepare an arsenal of counter-arguments.”

7 Be careful online

When people are hiding behind their screens, they’re often willing to argue harder and nastier than in real life. For that reason, Dr Rosewarne says you may want to think carefully before calling out a racist online.

“Responding on social media is a way to both mobilise support and to also inflame your political enemies who will mobilise with more vitriol, spit and bile than you could ever imagine,” she points out.

Deleting or blocking them is one obvious solution; otherwise you could try sharing a link that explains the holes in their views – taking a similar approach to the tips above for real-life conversations.

“I look at the comments and see what else is being written before I decide to post something,” Yorston says.

“If there are other people ranting I won’t post anything. If it’s really offensive stuff, I delete them and report them to Facebook.”

I ’m not a confrontational person by nature. But if someone comes at me with a false accusation, I’m ready to fight (with words) to the (figurative) death to prove I’m right. Lately, though, I’ve been employing a craftier method for diffusing this particular variety of verbal warfare.

Recently, I turned to my wise uncle (who’s really more of my BFF-slash-mentor) to vent some frustration after an avoidable argument with a friend. “One of the best ways to deal with an angry person,” he said, “is to ask, ‘What do you need from me?’” He went on to explain that the question prompts the other person to search their feelings while acknowledging that you’re willing to meet them halfway. So smart, right? And according to a psychologist, the technique is totally legit.

“The most important thing to remember in this situation is not to act impulsively,” says Erika Groban, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Rye, NY. “Once you’re able to deescalate the emotional intensity of the situation, you’ll be able to address the content of what is being discussed.” If you’re thinking this advice is easier said than done (fair), Dr. Groban recommends keeping a script at the ready:

1. “I’m feeling a little bit uncomfortable about how you’re speaking to me right now. I understand you’re angry/hurt/sad but I think it would be more productive if we come back to the issue later, once we’ve both had some time to calm down.”

2. “It’s difficult for me to talk about the issue at hand when you’re speaking to me in this aggressive/demeaning way. I’m happy to keep discussing the issue if you’re able to speak to me with more respect. If not, I think we need to take a break from this conversation.”

According to Dr. Groban, such phrases also establish a needed boundary between you and your confronter, making it clear that you’re willing to work it out while still advocating for yourself. “These comments will allow you to model the way you want to be treated and gives the other person a chance to collect himself and rethink the way he wants to conduct himself in the conversation,” she elaborates.

Just remember, though, you also have the option to GTFO of the conversation in a purposeful way. “There are times when the confronter may refuse to stop engaging in the conversation. In this situation, the best thing you can do is clearly state that you will be leaving the conversation and will be available to talk once the person has calmed down,” says Dr. Groban. After all, if finding middle ground involves walking over hot coals or devaluing your self-worth, it’s probably best to just carry on with the rest of your life and, as my uncle would say, set yourself free.

“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.”

For years I was that person who needed to know what would happen in the near future. I wasn’t content with being in the moment and letting things unfold naturally because it made me anxious.

Knowing, or at least thinking I knew, was a way for me to relax and reassure myself that nothing was going to unexpectedly pop up. The idea of a problem spontaneously arising made me so nervous and anxious that I’d become a doormat instead of speaking up and saying what I really thought.

For me, a “problem” was somebody who threatened my peaceful near future and, as a result, I would have to figure out a way to subdue them without disrupting my peace too much. Often, I would have to step outside my comfort zone of being a wallflower and deal with people in a way that wouldn’t cause too much hassle.

I suppose you could say I tried to categorize the people around me according to their mood. In short, I tried to control the uncontrollable—human nature.

I started to obsess about my friends falling out with me. I’d say goodbye to them and spend an hour afterward worrying that they’d be angry with me and wouldn’t speak to me the next day.

It was exhausting and constant; I would convince myself that one friend was okay with me and then I’d start to doubt another friend. I remember one time particularly well because to this day I still laugh at how ridiculous it all was, though at the time it was really stressful.

I had this one friend who started to develop an attitude; where she was once reserved and not confrontational, she was now argumentative and volatile.

Although I didn’t argue with her, I’d seen her arguing with our other friends and she suddenly seemed really intimidating, definitely not someone I’d want to get on the wrong side of. The fact that she’d sometimes start an argument for no good reason contributed to my fear that she might get angry with me.

I did everything to keep the peace, but she was prone to spontaneous moods.

II remember looking at her one day and realizing that I didn’t care if she stopped speaking to me; it seemed ridiculous that I’d wasted so much energy on something so silly.

When she went off in a mood, I let her go and stayed with our other friends. And the crazy thing is that she came back to me asking what was wrong. Everyone was so used to me being the peacekeeper that when I stopped keeping the peace, they started seeing me as someone who had an opinion instead of the quiet doormat.

It’s amazing what happens when you stop overthinking and worrying about how things will turn out. When you speak your mind, you send a message to the people around you that you have a voice and you’re not afraid to use it.

Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone, but I respect someone who says what they’re thinking rather than what they think everyone wants them to say—even if I totally disagree with them.

Nothing in life is certain, and yet at some point we’ve all tried to desperately cling to something that we’ve wanted to stay the same. Some of us have even compromised our integrity just to hold onto the idea that we’re sure of something.

There is power in being uncertain and allowing life to flow naturally, responding rather than controlling. When you embrace uncertainty, you respond to the present moment rather than following a plan involving everyone else that only you know about.

Need help embracing uncertainty so you can start speaking up?

1. Lose expectations.

I look at expectations as agreements between two people that only one person knows about. By this I mean you may think you know how a person is going to act—you may even hope—but at the end of the day, nothing is certain.

Don’t let the thought of “what if?” stop you from speaking up if something bothers you. Let it go; what will be will be.

2. Follow the Two-Year Rule.

This means that if you’re worried about a situation and it’s making you anxious, ask yourself whether it will matter in two years.

Think back a few years to all those times you’ve worried about speaking your mind and being authentic. Are those situations still affecting you today? Assuming you can even remember them, I’m betting they aren’t.

3. Remember who’s important to you.

Maybe a colleague is doing something that annoys you or seems to have an issue with you. And you’re stressing about sorting things out because they’re a colleague and you have to work with them and it could get awkward and blah blah blah.

The truth is, nothing will change unless you do. How important is this person? If you do nothing, things will stay the same, so why not try a different approach and see what happens?

4. Prepare to disagree.

It will happen; it’s not all smooth sailing when you decide to stop dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. Just remain calm and deal with those who are disagreeing with you in a mature manner, even if they’re being immature.

It’s hard at first, but it pays off when they realize that you don’t have to hide behind shouting to get your point across. Sticking to your guns is like giving yourself a hug; you feel amazing afterward, whatever happens.

And one last bonus tip: Make time for yourself. When you take the time to relax and unwind, it can do wonders for your confidence, so you won’t fall back into the habit of trying to control everything and not focusing on yourself.