How to raise your spiritual and emotional iq

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spiritual and emotional IQ is the ability to see a bigger picture, to see cause and effect within your life at a level above what an average person would consider. We as human beings, tend to believe that we are destined to have life pan out a certain way. Our family and friends lives are similar to ours, so that’s our reality and we accept it. Sure there are some ‘lucky’ people out there achieving a lifestyle we could never envisage for ourselves, but you feel they’re different, special and blessed ?

But you know what? They’re not. They just have a higher spiritual and emotional intelligence that has allowed them to create their life beyond conventional limitations. I’m going to show you how you can achieve that too.

So spiritual and emotional IQ means turning life on its head. Instead of walking around and looking at how you’re the victim of everything going on around you, take a look and ask – what if I could create anything and transform everything in my life? What if my own belief systems – my actions and decisions – are causing my life to be this way, in every capacity? What if I could gain a perspective that was high enough to change that?

The cause and effect relationship to life

Those with a spiritual IQ say there is a cause and effect relationship for everything that happens in the physical universe. When I started to increase my understanding of these concepts I could instantly see I was spending every resource I had to create what I really didn’t want in my life. Back then, I was complaining, I was angry, I was confused. If someone had come and said ‘why don’t you stop creating this life for yourself?’ I would have refused any responsibility.

As you raise your spiritual and emotional IQ you start seeing a bigger piece of the world, which gives you a different perspective of these labels you’ve put on yourself. You can also see the cause and effect relationship that these things have in your life and to the results that you’re achieving. Often, these are not the results you want.

How you can change your life around today

This is how you can learn to see life through a different lens, and start recognizing limiting mindsets, and how to change them. The belief you can is the only prerequisite required for you to achieve it.

• Don’t do anything with the view you’re the victim of circumstances. Take control, take responsibility. Don’t buy into your own ‘poor me’ story.

• Plug into some positive things that give you the perception the control is within you. Personal development books, podcasts, a community of positive people! Steer clear of those within your circle who are permanently playing the victim. They’ll only drag you down.

• Tune into your own language. Listen to your internal dialogue, and word choices you make while conversing with others. Make sure it consists of I can, I want, I will. And not I can’t, I won’t, I want to BUT.

Anything the mind can see and believe, it can achieve

You don’t know how quickly things can change when you get on track spiritually, emotionally, and stop engaging in the drama. Make space in your mind for you to believe anything is possible then within that space; start to create exactly what you want:

Physically – in your life on a daily basis by your every day actions.

Mentally – by what you’re putting into your mind and your internal conversations.

Visually – visualize your future and design it exactly how you want.

The possibilities are endless. Welcome to the journey towards your extraordinary life!

• Share
• Pin it
• Tweet
• Share
• Email

spiritual and emotional IQ is the ability to see a bigger picture, to see cause and effect within your life at a level above what an average person would consider. We as human beings, tend to believe that we are destined to have life pan out a certain way. Our family and friends lives are similar to ours, so that’s our reality and we accept it. Sure there are some ‘lucky’ people out there achieving a lifestyle we could never envisage for ourselves, but you feel they’re different, special and blessed ?

But you know what? They’re not. They just have a higher spiritual and emotional intelligence that has allowed them to create their life beyond conventional limitations. I’m going to show you how you can achieve that too.

So spiritual and emotional IQ means turning life on its head. Instead of walking around and looking at how you’re the victim of everything going on around you, take a look and ask – what if I could create anything and transform everything in my life? What if my own belief systems – my actions and decisions – are causing my life to be this way, in every capacity? What if I could gain a perspective that was high enough to change that?

The cause and effect relationship to life

Those with a spiritual IQ say there is a cause and effect relationship for everything that happens in the physical universe. When I started to increase my understanding of these concepts I could instantly see I was spending every resource I had to create what I really didn’t want in my life. Back then, I was complaining, I was angry, I was confused. If someone had come and said ‘why don’t you stop creating this life for yourself?’ I would have refused any responsibility.

As you raise your spiritual and emotional IQ you start seeing a bigger piece of the world, which gives you a different perspective of these labels you’ve put on yourself. You can also see the cause and effect relationship that these things have in your life and to the results that you’re achieving. Often, these are not the results you want.

How you can change your life around today

This is how you can learn to see life through a different lens, and start recognizing limiting mindsets, and how to change them. The belief you can is the only prerequisite required for you to achieve it.

• Don’t do anything with the view you’re the victim of circumstances. Take control, take responsibility. Don’t buy into your own ‘poor me’ story.

• Plug into some positive things that give you the perception the control is within you. Personal development books, podcasts, a community of positive people! Steer clear of those within your circle who are permanently playing the victim. They’ll only drag you down.

• Tune into your own language. Listen to your internal dialogue, and word choices you make while conversing with others. Make sure it consists of I can, I want, I will. And not I can’t, I won’t, I want to BUT.

Anything the mind can see and believe, it can achieve

You don’t know how quickly things can change when you get on track spiritually, emotionally, and stop engaging in the drama. Make space in your mind for you to believe anything is possible then within that space; start to create exactly what you want:

Physically – in your life on a daily basis by your every day actions.

Mentally – by what you’re putting into your mind and your internal conversations.

Visually – visualize your future and design it exactly how you want.

The possibilities are endless. Welcome to the journey towards your extraordinary life!

Spiritual and emotional IQ is the ability to see a bigger picture, to see cause and effect within your life at a level above what an average person would consider. We as human beings, tend to believe that we are destined to have life pan out a certain way. Our family and friends lives are similar to ours, so that’s our reality and we accept it. Sure there are some ‘lucky’ people out there achieving a lifestyle we could never envisage for ourselves, but you feel they’re different, special and blessed ?

But you know what? They’re not. They just have a higher spiritual and emotional intelligence that has allowed them to create their life beyond conventional limitations. I’m going to show you how you can achieve that too.

So spiritual and emotional IQ means turning life on its head. Instead of walking around and looking at how you’re the victim of everything going on around you, take a look and ask – what if I could create anything and transform everything in my life? What if my own belief systems – my actions and decisions – are causing my life to be this way, in every capacity? What if I could gain a perspective that was high enough to change that?

The cause and effect relationship to life

Those with a spiritual IQ say there is a cause and effect relationship for everything that happens in the physical universe. When I started to increase my understanding of these concepts I could instantly see I was spending every resource I had to create what I really didn’t want in my life. Back then, I was complaining, I was angry, I was confused. If someone had come and said ‘why don’t you stop creating this life for yourself?’ I would have refused any responsibility.

As you raise your spiritual and emotional IQ you start seeing a bigger piece of the world, which gives you a different perspective of these labels you’ve put on yourself. You can also see the cause and effect relationship that these things have in your life and to the results that you’re achieving. Often, these are not the results you want.

How you can change your life around today

This is how you can learn to see life through a different lens, and start recognizing limiting mindsets, and how to change them. The belief you can is the only prerequisite required for you to achieve it.

• Don’t do anything with the view you’re the victim of circumstances. Take control, take responsibility. Don’t buy into your own ‘poor me’ story.
• Plug into some positive things that give you the perception the control is within you. Personal development books, podcasts, a community of positive people! Steer clear of those within your circle who are permanently playing the victim. They’ll only drag you down.
• Tune into your own language. Listen to your internal dialogue, and word choices you make while conversing with others. Make sure it consists of I can, I want, I will. And not I can’t, I won’t, I want to BUT.

Anything the mind can see and believe, it can achieve

You don’t know how quickly things can change when you get on track spiritually, emotionally, and stop engaging in the drama. Make space in your mind for you to believe anything is possible then within that space; start to create exactly what you want:

Physically – in your life on a daily basis by your every day actions.

Mentally – by what you’re putting into your mind and your internal conversations.

Visually – visualize your future and design it exactly how you want.

The possibilities are endless. Welcome to the journey towards your extraordinary life!

Spiritual and emotional IQ is the ability to see a bigger picture, to see cause and effect within your life at a level above what an average person would consider. We as human beings, tend to believe that we are destined to have life pan out a certain way. Our family and friends lives are similar to ours, so that’s our reality and we accept it. Sure there are some ‘lucky’ people out there achieving a lifestyle we could never envisage for ourselves, but you feel they’re different, special and blessed ?

But you know what? They’re not. They just have a higher spiritual and emotional intelligence that has allowed them to create their life beyond conventional limitations. I’m going to show you how you can achieve that too.

So spiritual and emotional IQ means turning life on its head. Instead of walking around and looking at how you’re the victim of everything going on around you, take a look and ask – what if I could create anything and transform everything in my life? What if my own belief systems – my actions and decisions – are causing my life to be this way, in every capacity? What if I could gain a perspective that was high enough to change that?

The cause and effect relationship to life

Those with a spiritual IQ say there is a cause and effect relationship for everything that happens in the physical universe. When I started to increase my understanding of these concepts I could instantly see I was spending every resource I had to create what I really didn’t want in my life. Back then, I was complaining, I was angry, I was confused. If someone had come and said ‘why don’t you stop creating this life for yourself?’ I would have refused any responsibility.

As you raise your spiritual and emotional IQ you start seeing a bigger piece of the world, which gives you a different perspective of these labels you’ve put on yourself. You can also see the cause and effect relationship that these things have in your life and to the results that you’re achieving. Often, these are not the results you want.

How you can change your life around today

This is how you can learn to see life through a different lens, and start recognizing limiting mindsets, and how to change them. The belief you can is the only prerequisite required for you to achieve it.

• Don’t do anything with the view you’re the victim of circumstances. Take control, take responsibility. Don’t buy into your own ‘poor me’ story.

• Plug into some positive things that give you the perception the control is within you. Personal development books, podcasts, a community of positive people! Steer clear of those within your circle who are permanently playing the victim. They’ll only drag you down.

• Tune into your own language. Listen to your internal dialogue, and word choices you make while conversing with others. Make sure it consists of I can, I want, I will. And not I can’t, I won’t, I want to BUT.

Anything the mind can see and believe, it can achieve

You don’t know how quickly things can change when you get on track spiritually, emotionally, and stop engaging in the drama. Make space in your mind for you to believe anything is possible then within that space; start to create exactly what you want:

Physically – in your life on a daily basis by your every day actions.

Mentally – by what you’re putting into your mind and your internal conversations.

Visually – visualize your future and design it exactly how you want.

The possibilities are endless. Welcome to the journey towards your extraordinary life!

Reduce stress at work and home.

THE BASICS

• What Is Stress?
• Find a therapist to overcome stress

If I could ask for a show of hands to the question, “Who is stressed?” I am fairly confident that a majority of those reading this post would indicate they are indeed stressed. This is based on the eye-popping results from multiple surveys on worker stress. And this stress can lead to decreased performance at work and home.

So how do we take steps to reduce our stress? There are some well-known ways of reducing stress, such as engaging in exercise or utilizing time-management techniques, and these are without a doubt excellent coping mechanisms. However, those techniques often take time to plan and implement, which can lead to a delay in reducing your stress. On the other hand, our emotional intelligence can be increased almost immediately and can be a very effective tool in reducing our stress.

At its most basic level, emotional intelligence refers to our ability to a) identify our feelings, b) identify others’ feelings, and c) react accordingly. And why should we care about our emotional intelligence? In terms of stress, research suggests that higher emotional intelligence leads to lower stress levels.

Furthermore, there is a large amount of research indicating that emotional intelligence is a critical success factor in the workplace as well as at home. For example, employees high in emotional intelligence are more satisfied with their jobs than their counterparts with low emotional intelligence. This also translates to better performance on the job, with those workers high in emotional intelligence outperforming those low in managing their emotions. Some studies even show a high correlation between emotional intelligence and how much money we earn!

Here are three ways we can immediately work on building our emotional intelligence and starting to reduce our stress.

1. Practice Emotional Literacy

Being emotionally literate helps us to direct the focus of our own feelings and emotions in the right place. We can practice being emotionally literate by expressing our thoughts in three-word sentences (perhaps best done internally to ourselves—not aloud for others to hear). For instance, if a coworker or family member is taking too long to complete a task you asked them to do, then you might be tempted to think to yourself (or possibly say aloud to this person) “You are ridiculous!” However, this emotion will likely make you less effective during that interaction. Worse yet, if a “you” statement is actually verbalized it is likely to put the other person on the defensive. On the other hand, if you redirect this thought by saying to yourself “I feel impatient,” then you are more accurately getting to the root of the emotion and are better able to regulate that emotion.

Try these tips to increase your emotional literacy:

• Express your feeling with a three-word sentence.
• Use “I” instead of “You” (this allows you to own the feeling instead of placing it on
  another person).
• Use feeling words in your three-word sentence (for example, I feel…tired, exhausted, frustrated, etc…).
• Remember that thoughts determine emotion.

2. Develop Empathy

Having empathy means we recognize and understand how others feel. Displaying empathy is important because when our coworkers and family members perceive that we are empathetic, they in turn believe we are treating them with fairness and respect. When it comes to interactions with coworkers and family members alike, you can take steps to develop empathy by:

Listening to others (and resisting the urge to interrupt).

Being slow to offer advice (sometimes listening, from the previous point, is enough).

Taking others’ points-of-view into account (the old “put yourself in their shoes” adage).

3. Develop Emotional Control

While emotional literacy and empathy are specific, developing emotional control is a little broader. In general, emotional control means taking action on those situations in which we have control. For example, if a coworker is rude to you during an interaction, you cannot truly control their behavior. Nevertheless, you can control your behavior. One element you have control over is your breathing—that’s right, your breathing. Try taking deep breaths as a way to calm your emotional response. There are both psychological and physiological mechanisms at play when we take a deep breath and these allow us to reduce stress in the moment and maintain better control over our emotions.

You might also try forward thinking when you encounter a stressor. Forward thinking is a technique where you simply think to yourself “How significant will ___ be tomorrow…or next week?” Yes, the coworker may have been rude to you. But does their rude behavior require an equally rude response? Likely not. A rude response by you will only hurt your own reputation. Developing your emotional control will help lessen the impact of a situation like this.

As a way to develop more emotional control, try these tips:

Breathe deeply for a few seconds.

Take a break (detach yourself from the situation if possible).

Try forward thinking (How important will ___ be tomorrow?).

Developing emotional intelligence takes time and practice. And simply practicing the preceding three tips will not make us emotional intelligence experts after one day. However, we can implement these suggestions now and begin to see the positive results immediately.

— Looking for one-on-one coaching that will help you increase your workplace performance and lead to a more fruitful professional life? Reach out to Russell today for more information!

LinkedIn Image: WAYHOME Studio/Shutterstock. Facebook image: GaudiLab/Shutterstock

Limited-Time Savings: 60% Off Leadership Books

A pervasive myth still exists, one that stifles wellbeing and performance at work. The myth is that emotions don’t belong at work. That workers can flip a switch and shed all of their fear, joy, sorrow and hope at the door of work. This myth leads many to believe professionals should be cold and stoic.

Not only is feeling feelings part of being human, but research shows that when coworkers drop their polished professional presence, those around them experience a boost in trust, kindness, performance and connection. Divorcing ourselves from our personal lives is not only unfortunate, but it’s also bad business.

This is why emotional intelligence will be the hallmark of the most successful leaders and organizations of the future. In my recent article, 5 Reasons Why Emotional Intelligence Is the Future of Work, I highlight how technology, Generation Z and neuroscience are all contributing to emotional intelligence being the future of work.

The ability to identify and manage one’s personal emotions and the emotions of others will be an advantageous skill for leaders as mental health concerns, depression and loneliness continue to rise in the modern workforce.

If leaders can’t get comfortable wading into emotional waters, they run the risk of never fully solving the problems of their team or customers because empathy, a core pillar of emotional intelligence, is required to fully problem solve. As Bill Gates stated in his 2014 Stanford University commencement speech, “If we have optimism but we don’t have empathy, then it doesn’t matter how much we master the secrets of science. We’re not really solving problems; we’re just working on puzzles.”

Emotions aren’t a problem to solve but a tension to manage. How leaders successfully manage that daily tension is with emotional intelligence.

According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, emotional intelligence is a better predictor of academic success, job performance and life success than someone’s intelligence quotient (IQ). And, unlike IQ, people can increase their emotional intelligence throughout life. Here are three steps to become more emotionally intelligent.

1. Find balance on the emotional spectrum

A line exists between sharing our feelings that build trust and oversharing which erodes trust. Oversharing can undermine influence, elicit discomfort in others and demonstrate a lack of self-awareness.

Most people either let their emotions drive the car of their life or they lock their emotions out of the car. Neither is ideal. Emotions help us navigate the world. They shouldn’t be driving or locked out but rather in the passenger seat where they are visible, included and used for guidance.

Emotional expression is a wide spectrum. At one extreme are under-emoters, people who prefer just the facts or have a hard time accessing their feelings. At the other extreme are over-emoters, people who are constantly sharing their feelings. Neither of these extremes is healthy. Those who are prone to oversharing, consider editing. Those who are more reserved, look for moments to open up and be more vulnerable or relatable.

Emotional intelligence is about finding the balance on this spectrum. Recognize and manage feelings without being controlled by them.

Strike the right emotional balance with selective sharing. Open up while still prioritizing psychological safety and stability for both yourself and others. Selective sharing can be achieved in the following ways:

• Flag feelings: If a feeling is non-work related or isn’t associated with a particular individual, then flag the feeling without going into detail by telling the individual that you are having a tough day and it has nothing to do with work or them.
• Need identification: Identify the need behind the emotion. If a looming deadline has you feeling anxious or worried, the need behind the emotion might be to ask your team to put a plan in place that ensures the deadline is met.

2. Strive to be relatable rather than vulnerable

Emotional intelligence seems to be inextricably linked to vulnerability. Although vulnerability can be a valuable tool, too often — for leaders especially — it can position someone as weak and erode confidence among a team. Leaders should instead strive to be relatable.

By definition, being relatable establishes a social or sympathetic relationship with others. Asking yourself “Am I relatable?” or “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?” force you to consider the circumstances of the person you’re interacting with, which creates an opportunity to empathize.

Here are two ways others can relate to you as a person, not just a professional.

• Tell your story: Replace the polished professional presence with relatable stories of discomfort, doubts or delight in a way that is authentic and in service of others. People listen autobiographically to storytellers, so when you tell a personal story, others are listening through the lens of their own life. Share where you’ve been, where you are and where you’re going in order to become more relatable.
• Ask to hear a story: People long to be seen, heard and belong. Ask thoughtful and open-ended questions of the people you serve that allow them to respond in a story. Often the stories we ask to hear are much better than the stories we tell.

3. Actively listen to understand and identify

Famed entrepreneur and author Jim Rohn said: “As a leader, you should always start with where people are before you try to take them where you want them to go.” Too often people listen for an opportunity to insert their comment, point or argument. Instead, emotionally intelligent leaders will actively listen to understand and identify the emotion behind the story or behavior.

Here are a few phrases to assist with active listening.

• Tell me more. Fight the urge to insert your insight or advice into a conversation and instead simply state, “Tell me more.” This provides the necessary margin for people to continue to share and further communicate how they feel.
• How did we get here? Experienced FBI negotiators don’t tell the culprit what to do or not to do. They first seek understanding by asking, “How did we get here?” This question is helpful in evoking a story or more context about the current situation.
• What drives you to show up every day? This is a helpful question to explore with an entire team. Answering this question among a team will establish trust.

Are emotions messy? Yes. Are emotions inescapable? Yes. The choice to sweep them under the rug or steward them to success is up to leaders.

When emotional intelligence (EQ) research arrived on the scene in the 90s, it proved that people of average-intelligence could outperform those with high intelligence. The stark reality? EQ trumped IQ as the key to success.

Nearly three decades later, EQ is what sets high performers apart, not to mention what keeps employees from writing open letters to their CEOs and getting fired a few hours later.

So, where can a busy professional get some good resources to raise their EQ? While a Google search will land you over 61 million results, I’ll simplify things with my own list of recommended resources, broken down into five categories. You’re welcome.

Articles

1. “Why Compassion Is a Better Managerial Tactic Than Toughness”

In this Harvard Business Review article, Emma Seppala, Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, tells you how to respond with more compassion the next time an employee blows it badly.

2. “Why Attitude Is More Important Than IQ”

Travis Bradberry of TalentSmart documents new research by Stanford Professor Carol Dweck that shows a winning attitude — what she calls a growth mindset — is a better predictor of success than IQ, especially during setbacks and challenges.

3. “7 Interview Questions That Determine Emotional Intelligence”

Still asking questions that will get you scripted answers? Try assessing EQ in job candidates with these behavioral-interview questions.

Books

1. E.Q. Librium Unleash the Power of Your Emotional Intelligence: A Proven Path to Career Success

This book helps you to develop EQ to achieve self-regulation in emotionally charged situations, and teach you to be effective at managing yourself, particularly when there are diverse personalities at play.

2. HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence

This gem comes from the Harvard Business Review archive — a collection of the most important articles on emotional intelligence that includes best-selling author Daniel Goleman and a host of other experts in the field.

3. A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future

In this best-selling classic, Dan Pink outlines the six fundamentally human abilities that are absolute essentials for professional success and personal fulfillment — and reveals how to master them.

Videos

1. How to Give Feedback

EQ heavyweights Daniel Goleman and Bill George discuss how to give honest feedback in a constructive way that opens doors to learning and growing. Watch here.

2. Find Your Blind Spots

Too good to pass up, I’ve chosen Goleman and George again to discuss how blind spots impact our ability to interact with others, or think clearly. Watch here.

3. How to Manage Emotions in Negotiation

Negotiation often involves disagreement, which can unleash unwanted emotions. Harvard Law School’s Dr. Daniel Shapiro says “don’t disregard emotions, but use them to help you understand what’s really happening.” Watch here.

Tools

1. Infographic: How Does Emotional Intelligence Impact Your Career?

This infographic from the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland answers many questions about EQ and job performance, bottom-line impact, and even how it affects your image.

2. Test Your Emotional Intelligence

Take this short quiz provided by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center to measure your emotional intelligence. Try to identify the emotion conveyed in each of the 20 photos.

3. White Paper: Why Managing Pressure is the New Competitive Advantage at Work

In this practical white paper, the Institute for Health and Human Potential gives you useful strategies to navigate pressure more effectively.

Inc. Columnists Talking About Emotional Intelligence

1. Justin Bariso, founder of Insight, writes regularly on EQ. His latest highlights Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr showing a different side of EQ.

3. Dr. Travis Bradberry makes a living out of this topic. He is the co-author of the No. 1 best-selling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0. His latest is 7 Mistakes Leaders Make That Make Everyone Miserable.

Co-authored by Jane Mountrose, Holistic Coach and Trainer

In our culture, a high value is placed on our IQ’s and mental intelligence. While a sound mind is essential, other aspects of the self are also essential to our full potential. In our roles as holistic coaches and trainers, we understand that realizing your full potential involves embracing our wholeness by integrating the body, emotions, mind, and spirit. Along with mental development, this includes developing emotional and spiritual intelligence.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding one’s emotions and addressing them in a healthy way that honors all concerned. Spiritual intelligence lifts this awareness to a higher level, to a place where we can connect with our divine nature and the truth that unites us all.

In essence, everything is energy, which is the basic building block of life. We call it life energy or aliveness. Each of us is here to be fully alive. With this in mind, it can be illuminating to ask yourself how alive you feel under different conditions and in different situations. You may notice that when you feel stressed, unhappy, and far from the life you desire, your sense of aliveness is much different than it is when you feel joyful, excited about your future, and connected with the blessings life has to offer.

How does Aliveness Relate to Emotional and Spiritual Intelligence?

If aliveness is a key, how, then, does it relate to your wholeness – body, emotions, mind, and spirit? And how does this relate to emotional and spiritual intelligence?

To experience it for yourself, we created a simple experiment you can do now. This exercise uses stress as an example of energy, because just about everyone can relate to being stressed. To get the best results, we recommend having a pen and paper handy and jot down your responses to the questions below.

STEP 1: To begin, turn your attention to something specific that makes you feel stressed. The key here is to isolate the thoughts and feelings you have when you’re stressed, so stay focused. And don’t worry, you’ll turn it around as you learn some principles for moving forward.

Ask yourself these questions from this stressed perspective:

Physically, how does your body feel? Allow your body to assume the posture that feels most natural in this stressed state. Also notice if you sense any tension or discomfort in your body when you feel stressed, and where you feel it.

Emotionally, how do you feel? Ask yourself what emotions correspond to this stressed feeling? Examples: sad, angry, frustrated, . We don’t want to influence your use of words here, but you’d probably agree that words like hopeful or elated are not likely responses.

Mentally, how do you feel about your possibilities in life? Another way to say this is how bright does your future look when you experience this stress?

Spiritually, how do you feel about yourself (in your heart)? Again remember to respond to how you feel about yourself when you feel this stress. We realize that there are probably times when you feel good about yourself. The key here is to stay focused on the affect of stress on how you feel about yourself.

STEP 2: Now, let’s turn it around. Take a few deep, breaths and allow your mind to relax. As you continue to breathe and relax a bit more, turn your attention to your heart. Focus on something that gives you a sense of heartfelt joy, something that makes your heart sing! It may take a moment to come up with something and that’s okay. Continue to breathe easily and focus on it until the feeling is strongly positive.

The key here is to notice the thoughts and feelings you have when you are experiencing heartfelt joy, so stay focused.

Ask yourself the same four questions from this joyful perspective:

Physically, how does your body feel? Allow your body to assume the posture that feels most natural in this joyful state. Also notice how your body feels now compared with what you noticed in the first part of this exercise.

Emotionally, how do you feel? Ask yourself what emotions correspond to this joyful feeling? Examples: elated, relaxed, excited, .

Mentally, how do you feel about your possibilities? How bright does your future look when you feel stressed in this way? Also make note of anything specific about what seems possible compared with what you noticed earlier.

Spiritually, how do you feel about yourself (in your heart)? Respond again to how you feel about yourself when you are experiencing this joy.

Integrating Emotional and Spiritual Intelligence

Using this experiment, you can connect with different emotional states and experience how they affect your perspective on life – in your body, emotions, mind, and spirit. Integrating these four aspects of your being, you could regard your emotions as indicators you can use to determine if you are on course or off course in relation to creating the life you desire.

With awareness, you can interpret the messages behind your emotions and transform them to lift your spirits. This provides access to the spiritual intelligence, the inner wisdom that shines through as you connect with your true potential. Together, your emotional and spiritual intelligence provide the insights you need to stay on the path to your full potential and the life you were born to live.

Reduce stress at work and home.

THE BASICS

• What Is Stress?
• Find a therapist to overcome stress

If I could ask for a show of hands to the question, “Who is stressed?” I am fairly confident that a majority of those reading this post would indicate they are indeed stressed. This is based on the eye-popping results from multiple surveys on worker stress. And this stress can lead to decreased performance at work and home.

So how do we take steps to reduce our stress? There are some well-known ways of reducing stress, such as engaging in exercise or utilizing time-management techniques, and these are without a doubt excellent coping mechanisms. However, those techniques often take time to plan and implement, which can lead to a delay in reducing your stress. On the other hand, our emotional intelligence can be increased almost immediately and can be a very effective tool in reducing our stress.

At its most basic level, emotional intelligence refers to our ability to a) identify our feelings, b) identify others’ feelings, and c) react accordingly. And why should we care about our emotional intelligence? In terms of stress, research suggests that higher emotional intelligence leads to lower stress levels.

Furthermore, there is a large amount of research indicating that emotional intelligence is a critical success factor in the workplace as well as at home. For example, employees high in emotional intelligence are more satisfied with their jobs than their counterparts with low emotional intelligence. This also translates to better performance on the job, with those workers high in emotional intelligence outperforming those low in managing their emotions. Some studies even show a high correlation between emotional intelligence and how much money we earn!

Here are three ways we can immediately work on building our emotional intelligence and starting to reduce our stress.

1. Practice Emotional Literacy

Being emotionally literate helps us to direct the focus of our own feelings and emotions in the right place. We can practice being emotionally literate by expressing our thoughts in three-word sentences (perhaps best done internally to ourselves—not aloud for others to hear). For instance, if a coworker or family member is taking too long to complete a task you asked them to do, then you might be tempted to think to yourself (or possibly say aloud to this person) “You are ridiculous!” However, this emotion will likely make you less effective during that interaction. Worse yet, if a “you” statement is actually verbalized it is likely to put the other person on the defensive. On the other hand, if you redirect this thought by saying to yourself “I feel impatient,” then you are more accurately getting to the root of the emotion and are better able to regulate that emotion.

Try these tips to increase your emotional literacy:

• Express your feeling with a three-word sentence.
• Use “I” instead of “You” (this allows you to own the feeling instead of placing it on
  another person).
• Use feeling words in your three-word sentence (for example, I feel…tired, exhausted, frustrated, etc…).
• Remember that thoughts determine emotion.

2. Develop Empathy

Having empathy means we recognize and understand how others feel. Displaying empathy is important because when our coworkers and family members perceive that we are empathetic, they in turn believe we are treating them with fairness and respect. When it comes to interactions with coworkers and family members alike, you can take steps to develop empathy by:

Listening to others (and resisting the urge to interrupt).

Being slow to offer advice (sometimes listening, from the previous point, is enough).

Taking others’ points-of-view into account (the old “put yourself in their shoes” adage).

3. Develop Emotional Control

While emotional literacy and empathy are specific, developing emotional control is a little broader. In general, emotional control means taking action on those situations in which we have control. For example, if a coworker is rude to you during an interaction, you cannot truly control their behavior. Nevertheless, you can control your behavior. One element you have control over is your breathing—that’s right, your breathing. Try taking deep breaths as a way to calm your emotional response. There are both psychological and physiological mechanisms at play when we take a deep breath and these allow us to reduce stress in the moment and maintain better control over our emotions.

You might also try forward thinking when you encounter a stressor. Forward thinking is a technique where you simply think to yourself “How significant will ___ be tomorrow…or next week?” Yes, the coworker may have been rude to you. But does their rude behavior require an equally rude response? Likely not. A rude response by you will only hurt your own reputation. Developing your emotional control will help lessen the impact of a situation like this.

As a way to develop more emotional control, try these tips:

Breathe deeply for a few seconds.

Take a break (detach yourself from the situation if possible).

Try forward thinking (How important will ___ be tomorrow?).

Developing emotional intelligence takes time and practice. And simply practicing the preceding three tips will not make us emotional intelligence experts after one day. However, we can implement these suggestions now and begin to see the positive results immediately.

— Looking for one-on-one coaching that will help you increase your workplace performance and lead to a more fruitful professional life? Reach out to Russell today for more information!

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