How to Be the Girl You Want to Be

Last Updated: September 3, 2020 References

This article was co-authored by Camber Hill. Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel’s “The Human Calculator,” The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County’s Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 73,863 times.

Do you ever feel like you are not the person other people think you are? Learning to be comfortable in your skin can be difficult, and you may envision yourself as a different person entirely. While it may seem impossible to reinvent yourself, you can become the person you always wanted to be.

Let go of all of those ideas about being someone else.

Really. You’re under no obligation to be your Instagram likes, your Twitter replies, or the talk of the town. The only type of girl you should be is the one who finds strength and comfort in who you are.

And that girl is who everyone turns to for advice — she’s so confident and badass she radiates empowerment.

Easier said than done, I know, but I’ve come a long way in this journey of self-discovery. I’ve found that the more confidence I have in myself, the less room there is for that nagging, negative voice inside my head to be like someone else.

And while you’re putting your best foot forward, it helps to remember the golden rule: Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Did you know being complimented is like having a mini-orgasm inside your brain? Researchers have found that when you receive a compliment, it can trigger the same reward centers in your brain that light up during sex. Yes, please!

Unconvinced? Well, a separate study found that almost identical reward centers light up when you get money or praise. Money talks, but so can you.

With either comparison, researchers found that the better the compliment, the more mental gymnastics occur in response. That’s why you break into a smile when your usual barista notices your new look or when your boss starts raving about your presentation.

Do this! If you see something you like, don’t hold back! Seriously, telling someone that you love their shoes could make their day. Just make sure that you aren’t overdoing it to the point that it becomes disingenuous.

We all know the type — the girls who come stumbling into the club or bar bathroom, smiling ear to ear and ready to talk. They’re some of the greatest women I’ve ever met. They’re also the best friends that I’ll never see again.

These are the girls you can tell anything — without fear of judgement — and you know they’ll have your back.

Did the person you come with find someone new? These girls are five seconds away from finding you a new boo to boogie with. Is that last Long Island coming back to haunt you? One girl is ready to hold your hair and the other is off to get you a cup of water.

Do this! This friendship shouldn’t be limited to our boozy bathroom encounters. Be the girl who’s this supportive all the time.

We’ve all seen someone having a meltdown in public. Hell, some of us have even been the girl behind the breakdown (myself included). But how often do we actually reach out to the girl crying in the corner and ask if she’s OK?

In a well-known study, researchers found that when bystanders were alone, 75 percent helped when they thought someone was in trouble. But when a group of six people were together, only 31 percent stepped in.

Do this! Don’t be afraid to ask a girl if she needs help, even if she’s with someone. Although it’s possible that she’s just really excited about something, it doesn’t hurt to ask if she needs a helping hand. The only way to know for sure is to take it upon yourself to ask.

She may say she’s fine or shrug off your offer. That’s OK. At the very least, she’ll know that she’s not alone.

Having a crew to call your own has countless benefits, but you’re going to miss out on all of them if you’re constantly comparing yourself to the women around you.

So what if you’ve been the only one rocking short hair, and now your friend wants to join the pixie party? You’re still two different people!

Instead of getting caught up in whether she’s going to “look better” than you, offer to send her to your stylist and help her prepare for the big chop.

The same can be said for a friend who’s gotten a big promotion while you’re still planning your next big move. The minute you realize you aren’t competing against each other — and that there’s plenty of room for everyone in the group — it’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

Do this! Ditch the internal ranking system and embrace their successes. After all, if you aren’t in competition, you’re in cahoots — and who doesn’t want that?

The only thing worse than starting your period when you least expect it is the horrifying realization that you don’t have anything to stop your flow — and there’s not a Walgreens in sight.

A survey by Free the Tampons Foundation found that 86 percent of 1,072 women have found themselves in the same situation, and 57 percent felt more embarrassed than annoyed, stressed, or panicked.

But the bonds of sisterhood are steep — 53 percent of women shared that when this happened, they asked another woman for a pad or tampon. So pay it forward!

Do this! Not only will keeping your bag stocked with extra menstrual products help you out in the long run, it could mean the difference between someone’s pair of ruined jeans and making it to a big meeting at work on time.

But that’s not all you should stuff in your purse. Allergy season may make tissues and hand sanitizer a no-brainer, but keeping a stash of chocolates is the biggest game-changer yet.

Sharing a couple of bite-sized squares can help with PMS, boost midday productivity, and bond with the girl sitting next to you.

It doesn’t matter whether your idea of a good time is staying in to watch Netflix or strapping on a pair of sky-high stilettos and dancing until it’s time to find breakfast.

So what if you spend your weekends catching up with your sorority sisters or planning for your next Comic Con? In the bigger picture, the “clique” that you fall into can be as irrelevant as your GPA is after graduation.

What works for me (or anyone else) isn’t going to work for you, and it doesn’t need to. You don’t have to love lipstick, Beyoncé (yeah, we went there), or “Game of Thrones” to be awesome.

Do this! Embracing what you love can be a powerful thing — especially for those around you. After all, if I see you out there being as badass as you are, I’m going to ask myself, what’s stopping me?

No, I’m not talking about highlighter. I’m talking about genuine, glowing-from-the-inside-out shine. Kind of like what Anna Kendrick has going on, but multiplied by 100.

It’s no secret that happiness is contagious. In fact, science shows that when you’re around people who are happy, you tend to take on their winning personality. You’ll find yourself feeling happier, more energized, and less stressed overall.

Do this! A smile is all it takes to start spreading good vibes. So, the next time you’re walking down the street, put your phone away! Save the screen for later and start connecting — however briefly — with the people who pass by.

We all have our off days, and it’s impossible to be “on” all the time. But that doesn’t mean we should give in to the noise. Every moment is a new opportunity to turn the day around — for you and for those around you.

Want to know how to attract any girl? It starts by getting the girl interested in you and curious about you. With that foundation you can gradually build a lasting attraction with any woman. As for how to spark that interest and curiosity; here are some tips that will help you do just that.

Project confidence
Confidence is the one irresistible trait you must have if you want to attract women. And women can tell right away whether or not you’re confident just by looking at your body language. For example, if you’re fidgeting or making yourself “small” in your environment, women will see you as lacking confidence.

So the first step in how to attract any girl is to adopt confident body language. Keep your body movements calm and controlled. Make yourself big. Don’t be afraid to take up room and claim the space immediately around you. If that’s difficult due to feeling nervous or uncomfortable, take slow, deep breaths while focusing on the sensations in your body (can you feel your feet?). This will help you relax and allow that confident body language to come out naturally.

Get her laughing
Every girl wants a guy who can make her laugh. And there’s no better time to prove you have that ability than at the beginning of the conversation. Get a girl to smile early on and it’ll help her relax and feel comfortable talking to you. All while sparking that interest and attraction.

One technique you can use to start a conversation and get a girl laughing is playful teasing. This is particularly effective because most guys are too insecure to playfully tease a girl right off the bat. By starting your conversations this way you show you’re not intimidated by attractive women. You can get her laughing and show tremendous confidence at the same time.

Here are just two examples of how to start a conversation with playful teasing: (1) “You know you’d look cute in a purple Mohawk” (2) “Excuse me, I’m trying to have a guy’s night out and you totally ruined it. You’re too damn cute”. Lines like these can get a conversation started on a fun, playful note.

Make her win you over
Projecting confidence and making a girl laugh are common tips for how to attract any girl. But there’s another tip that’s equally important that doesn’t get nearly as much discussion. It’s called qualification.

Qualification is all about getting the woman to prove that she’s a cool, interesting girl. It shows you’re a guy with standards who doesn’t invest his time and attention in just any attractive girl. When you actively filter women like this they see you as a high-value guy. They will then put more effort into keeping your interest and attention.

After bantering with a girl you can start qualifying by asking questions like “So what’s your deal?” or “What are three things I wouldn’t know about you by looking?” These questions are great because they’re open-ended and allow the girl to share as much information as she feels comfortable. They also give you a great chance to get to know her. You can then find out if she truly is a cool, interesting girl.

Create an emotional connection
In order to know how to attract any girl it’s important to know how to connect with any girl. That is, how to build an emotional connection so she feels close to you, and you feel close to her.

One way to build that emotional connection with a girl is to use the “I” perspective when speaking. Express your thoughts, opinions – and most importantly your emotions – directly. For example, saying “I love Game of Thrones” gives her a glimpse into your emotional world. But if you said “Game of Thrones is a great show” then that emotional component is taken out of the picture completely. Talking about your personal experiences, rather than objective facts, is going to get her feeling more deeply connected to you.

Build sexual tension
No article on how to attract any girl would be complete without a tip on how to build sexual tension. After all this is what keeps guys out of the friend-zone.

One of the most effective ways to build sexual tension with women is through touch. Start touching the girl early on in your conversation by lightly tapping the back of your hand against her elbow. If she’s okay with that contact, you can gradually move on to touch her for longer periods of time in more intimate areas (shoulder, back, thigh, face).

The key to knowing when you should touch more – or less – is to check for compliance. If she allows you to touch her, or starts touching you in response, then you can take things a step further with your touch. If however she recoils or moves away when you touch her, then give her space. Build more comfort through banter and creating an emotional connection. When she’s a bit more comfortable, try to build that sexual tension once again.

Be unattached to the outcome
One thing that is will help you tremendously when learning how to attract any woman is being unattached to the outcome. That is, don’t get hung up on whether or not you get a phone number, a date, or even get the girl to like you. Just enjoy the process of meeting women and focus on having fun. If you’re not looking to get anything from your interactions with women then you’ll have no trouble being confident, fun, open, and sexual with women.

The best way to make this your natural way of being is to get lots of experience talking and flirting with women. Make a point to talk to at least three women a day and practice the techniques mentioned in this article and elsewhere on the site. The more experience you get the less you’ll care about each individual interaction.

To learn more about how to flirt without being sleazy, get more dates, develop confident body language, and overcome your approach anxiety in just 5 days, check out The Art of Charm Bootcamp.

Immerse yourself in the world’s most advanced social skills training program. Learn why corporations, military special forces, executives, entrepreneurs, Silicon Valley engineers, and VCs trust our decade-plus of experience to increase their emotional intelligence.

Our Los Angeles program is full of scientifically proven drills and strategies to enhance your ability to command respect, communicate effectively, and build your charisma.

Go to to learn more and apply today. Finally get the skills to level up your career, relationships, and confidence in just 5 days.

Brian M – author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he’s made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →

You’ve been seeing her for a while, but your feelings have started to grow. Now you want to make things exclusive. Eventually every casual relationship reaches a tipping point; Either things get serious or things end. Some men have trouble handing the transition. You might not know what to say to a girl you want to date, but fear not: A lot of it is just keeping at what you’re already doing.

Keep It Light

The best thing you can do while things are getting more serious between you two is to keep things fun. She likes you for who you are, so in some ways it’s easier to keep things light than ever. You don’t need to worry about trying to impress her — you already have. Just continue to be the same fun, playful guy she’s gotten to know over the last several weeks.

Showing Appreciation

Every guy knows that women love compliments. Still, you might worry that you’re overdoing it some times. Here’s a couple pieces of advice when it comes to showing interest in a woman you want to date:

• While on dates, mention that you enjoy seeing her once or twice at high points during the date. Other than that, just focus on being the moment.
• Fewer things show a girl that you’re interested more than picking up the phone and calling her. Whether it’s to confirm a date or just to chat about your day, this can really set you apart from the rest of the pack. The phone is the best way to talk to the girl you want to date.
• Gifts aren’t a bad idea, but keep them small. Emphasize the thought that you put into the gift rather than the price tag.

Showing appreciation for a woman and putting her on a pedestal are not the same thing. You want her to know that you like her. Don’t be afraid to find small but meaningful ways to show it.

Deepening Connections

When you first meet a woman you tend to talk about shared interests. For example, you’ll talk about the types of music that you like, hobbies, activities, movies and that sort of thing. As the relationship deepens, the connections you two have also deepens. To get the connection between the two of you even stronger, it’s time to start talking about some “heavier” things.

Don’t worry, they aren’t going to be downers. I’m talking about things like your plans for the future, your values, your aspirations and your dreams. Ask her what she wanted to be when she was a little girl and how that changed as she got older. Talk about where she would like to be in five years. Tell her where you want your career to go. For there to be a long-term connection, you two are going to have to have some overlap here and besides, it’s fun to dream together.

Telling Her What You Want

For her to know that you want to date her, you’re going to have to be direct about it. After all, there’s no way for her to know what you want unless you tell her. As the man, it’s important that you take charge in moving things forward. A great way to do this is to not even make it a question. Tell her that you’ve noticed that things are getting more serious between you two. Then say that you think it’s time things got even more serious. That kind of direct, take-charge attitude is what it’s all about — the perfect way to move your relationship forward.

AJ Harbinger – author of 1128 posts on The Art of Charm

Are you tired of just settling for any girl who’s willing to be seen with you? So are a lot of guys. But if you truly want to start selecting the women in your life, you’re going to need to be proactive. The girl of your dreams isn’t going to magically fall into your arms, so here are some ways that you can truly bring out your natural attractive qualities and start getting noticed by the kinds of women that you dream about.

1) Be the kind of person that you want to attract. If you are negative and self-destructive, you’re going to attract the same types of people. So make sure to be open and positive in your attitude and in your thinking.

2) Be aware of your body language. Even when you aren’t speaking, your body language speaks for you. So use your body to project the positive thinking and behavior that you want to attract. Even if you aren’t feeling it at first, your brain will respond to the signals from your body, and the right feelings will follow.

3) Aside from physical beauty, think about the qualities that you want to see in the person you want to attract. Know exactly what you’re looking for, and screen for those traits. It’s okay to have standards, and it’s dangerous and destructive to just settle for any girl who comes along.

4) Step out of your comfort zone, every single day. Or as Eleanor Roosevelt once put it, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” The more you allow yourself to come face to face with your fears, the stronger and more confident you will become. Not only will this make it easier for you to communicate with the women you’re interested in; it will also make you more naturally attractive to those women.

5) Take action. A lot of guys end up settling because they don’t have the intestinal fortitude to approach the women they actually want! If you’re feebly just dropping hints and hoping she’ll take the lead, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise. While you’re quietly trying to inch onto her radar, a hundred other guys are actually making moves.

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Editor’s Note: The article was originally published in January 2008. We’ve updated it.

Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things.

Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii. The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship (or friendship with benefits). There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating.

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them.

Watch the Video

Why date?

A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

How to Ask a Girl Out

So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. You’re wondering how to ask her out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.

This stuff works. Ever since we originally published this article back in 2008, I’ve received several wedding invitations from men who met their wife to-be by following the advice in this article.

So When Should You Ask Girl Out?

Like getting married, having a baby, or starting a business, there’s never a right time to ask a girl out on a date. If you’re not sure, if she’s interested, learn how to know if a girl likes you. So just go ahead and ask her out if you’re interested. Will she say “no?” Possibly, but you won’t know until you ask.

And even if she says no, you’re no better off than you were before you asked.

Listen to my podcast about the problem with ambiguity in relationships:

i am 17 year old male. i want to be a girl. what to i do

You are not alone. Most people identify strongly with the gender they’re expected to grow up as. But it’s not uncommon for a person to identify strongly with the other gender. Sometimes the desire lasts only a brief time. Sometimes it lasts a lifetime.

The desire to be another gender occurs when one’s sexual anatomy is in conflict with one’s gender identity. It may be about an erotic desire to be in the role of the other gender, to play the roles and have the privileges of the other gender, or it may be related to a feeling that one was born into the “wrong” body. Or it could be all three.

People who want to live the role of the opposite gender are called transgender. Transgender people feel that the body type and sex organs they were born with (a penis or vulva) are different from the gender they want to be (being a guy or a girl).

Some transgender people choose to live the role of the gender they identify with, and some don’t. Some transgender people choose to become transsexual by having their gender reassigned through hormone treatments and/or surgery.

Many people, including teens, have non-traditional feelings about gender roles and sexual identities, and that is normal, too.

It’s important to talk to someone you can trust, and who understands gender identity issues. To find a support group in your area, check out OutProud.They have a database of thousands of support groups and other resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning youth.

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Introduction: How to Get a Girl: a Guide for Geeks Like Myself.

In this Instructable, you, yes you, will learn the secrets of landing yourself a true girlfreind.This is not a guide only for geeks, but for every guy that can say “Im single” Follow these simple steps, and the REAL ladies will flock to you. errrr hopefully. Read the instructable to find out more.

Step 1: Know Yourself

This is actually a VERY important step. seriously. I know it sounds corny and weird. but trust me its not.

As you can see below, the photos of myself show that I truly am a geek. One of my favorite hobbies is nerf. oh yes. nothing like 2inch foam darts flying at highspeeds.

Anyways, nerfing is NOT the most uh, macho hobby. So how does a total nerd get a totally attractive female life partner?

Before you can hope to get involved with and understand a girl, you must understand yourself. Who are you really? what are your hobbies? your likes? your dislikes? Most important, what are your convictions? You NEVER comprimise your convictions for a girl. EVER.

so, do you feel like you know yourself pretty well?
If you do then we can go on to the next step.

Step 2: Express Yourself

Express yourself. I could end this step here. It should be that simple.

Expressing your self can be easy. Just find what you like doing, and do it.Find what you don’ like and DON’T do that. Just let everybody know who you are and what you do and don’t do.

I like playing guitar. So I play guitar.
I like metal music so I listen to that.
I do not like country music. eww . so i dont listen to that much.
I like nerf. I nerf.
I love guns. I shoot them.
Im kinda smart. so I talk smart. (I use large words

See, I act like me, Not like anybody else. I act like who I am. I express myself.
do the same. But, don’t express yourself because I express myself. See, that would kill the point.

Now, im NOT saying that you simply dont do something just because you dont like it. for instance, back to the country music. I hate it. My girlfreind loves it. so, I learned to live with it. but i DON”T go listen to it to try to impress her. make sense? Good. on to step three.

Step 3: Get Over Yourself.

Woah. yeah I said it. You need to get over yourself.
99% of all guys deal with pride. We tend to think we are amazing.
Guess what? the world does not revolve around you. I know, new theology huh?

“look at me. i look good in a tux.” now while its not bad to look dang sexy in a tux, let the girls compliment you. dont’ do it yourself.

side note: I drive purple car. how loser is that?

If you want to get a girl, you need to be humble. If you seriously think that you deserve a girl, think again. Most girls deserve a guy that will think more highly of her than they do of themselves, a guy that puts her first. Be that guy. Don’t fake it. Do it.

Still think your ready for a woman??
cool. the next step is a good one.

Step 4: Finally! Get a Girl.

So, you know yourself pretty well, your not afraid to express yourself, and your not an arrogant jerk. Awesome. lets go find some laides.

tips on finding a sweet girl:

1. Apply this instructable in public. For instance, while hanging out with your buddies.

2. Don’t have split personalities. Girls catch on to those really quickly. this goes back to the “be yourself” part.

3.meet new people. Unless of course your trying to get a girl that you already know. girls are everywhere. go meet some! They don’t usually bite.

4. Talk. Seriously. Talk to girls. Some of they are actually pretty cool. They usually want to talk, and just need some help getting started.

Onto the next step. The big move. Asking her out. !

Step 5: Asking Her Out.

This is the only part of this instructable that is actually scarry.

so, you like this girl that you met, and you have really gotten to know her well. You act yourself around her, and treat her with respect. It seems that she has taken a liking to you as well. are you ready to ask her out. well lets find out.

Things to do before you ask her out.

1. Review. Think about it. Do you really like her? Alot? Enough to be stuck with her for a long time? good.

2.Ask your self “Do I have a chance?” this is actually a fair question. Sometimes you can fall for a girl that just hates your guts. In this case its best to just move on. if she doesn’t hate you. you have a chance.

3.Don’t plan a dialog. things never go that way. honestly. they dont. Not to mention that they always sound so cheezy.

So. your ready to ask her out. but how! ready for the answer.

Yup once again its that simple. Just be like “hey, I really like you and getting to know you has been great. Do you want to date?”

If she says yes, congrats!
if she says no, oh well. at least you still have a awesome female freind!

So, as you can see in the photos below.
A guy like myself(GEEK. ) can manage to score a beautiful girl. You just have to be yourself. The whole instructable boils down to that.

BE YOURSELF

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Introduction: How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date

Have you ever spotted a girl from across the room and wondered what you had to do to get her to go out with you? Maybe you sit by a great girl in one of your classes and just aren’t sure how to progress with things. Have you had some unlucky breaks in the pass? Whether you’ve been out on a couple of dates but feel like you’re doing something wrong, or you’re trying to get that first ever first date, we can help you out! By following the five simple steps below and paying attention to what to do and what not to do, we can get you on a first date and have you well on your way to a second. You never know, these steps could even help you go on a date with the girl you’ll marry someday!

Step 1: Gauge Her Interest

The first step is to gauge her interest. Did she notice you when you walked in the door? Did she make eye contact with you and smile? Positive expressions such as laughter, smiling, and open body language are great indicators that she is interested in you. If she seems annoyed, busy, or closed off, chances are you should leave her alone and wait for another girl to come along. If she’s always trying to find a reason to talk to you then this is good news!! Why else would an A student ask you for help on a math problem? She’s interested in you! Now we can move onto step 2 and get to know her a little bit better.

Step 2: Get to Know Her

Now that we know she’s interested, we need to get to know her a little better. This will especially come in handy when you have to plan where to go and what to do when you take her out on a date! Try sitting closer to her in class.

You should try to seek out opportunities for small talk. This could take place while you are standing in the lunch line together, waiting for class to start, or even just passing in a hallway.

You should pay attention to what she likes and dislikes. For instance, if she has a binder with adorable puppies on it, chances are that she likes dogs and might have one of her own. Ask her about it! Don’t be afraid to start asking her more personal questions. You could ask her what her favorite childhood tv show was, or her favorite family vacation. Asking these kinds of questions will not only allow you to learn more about her, but she will also pick up on you being interested in her!

An important tip: Try to focus on her eyes. If she sees you staring at other parts of her body she might think twice about you!

Now that we know what color her eyes are and some personal information, let’s ask her out!

Step 3: Ask Her Out

Today’s finally the day, you’re going to ask the girl you’re interested in out on a date! It’s important for you to look nice when doing so. Create a good impression of yourself on the outside to go along with your great personality on the inside. Girls love guys who clean up nicely.

It’s also important to make sure you ask her out when she’s alone. It can be intimidating and awkward for everyone if she’s with her best girlfriends. This will also allow her to give you an honest answer. She will be more likely to respond in a positive way if you catch her alone than when she knows her friends are judging the actions she makes.
Try not to make a big deal out of asking her out. Make it seem casual and confident, as if you do this every day of the week. Approach her with a friendly, “Hi!” and ask her how her day has been going. You need the right balance of confidence and passiveness. You don’t want to come on too strong or she might become uncomfortable. Make sure you are talking with her at a normal talking pace. If you try and rush through things she might take you as desperate and say no!

If she says no, then stay composed and friendly, end the conversation, and walk away. Don’t feel bad about what happened, take it as a learning experience and see how you can improve on things for the next time a girl catches your eye.

If she doesn’t say no, then that must mean she said yes! I know you’re excited that you’re now able to go out on your date, but you have to remain cool and collected. Don’t give her a high five or perform a celebration dance.

Look happy, tell her how excited you are to go out, and make some date plans!

Step 4: Make Date Plans

The best kind of first date is one where you can really talk, get to know each other, and have fun. Make it a relaxing date, somewhere there isn’t a lot of extra noise and you can hear each other talking. You want to be able to concentrate on her, not everything else going on around you. Perhaps suggest a cup of coffee, or a picnic under a tree.

You should also ask her what time works best for her when making concrete plans. Chances are if it works in her schedule, you’ll make time in your schedule to go out on the date with her. It’s also important to note that you should avoid anything vague. For a first date, it’s good that both people know where they are going and what they are doing. It will make the whole experience more comfortable and more likely to continue on past a first date.

Now that you’ve set a date, time, and activity, let’s fast-forward to the date!

Step 5: Go on “The Date”

This is where you should be yourself, and chivalrous. Open the door for her and pay for her coffee or bring the food to the picnic. You want her to know that you want her to have a good time and not have to worry about anything.

Nerves are going to be present for at least part of the date for both parties. This is not a bad thing! It’s even okay to let her know that you’re nervous; because she’s probably nervous too. Once both of you realize that you can relax a little, you can enjoy each other more.

Step 6:

So now that you’ve made it through your first date, the next step would be to ask her out again if you find her to be second date material. Make sure she knows you had a good time and will be getting in touch with her about a second date if that is what you decide to do. Otherwise, just let her know you had a good time and leave it at that.

After having gone through the initial phase of meeting a girl, getting to know her and her interests, and asking her out on a date, the rest almost seems easy! Once you’ve gone through the process once, it will be easier the next time, and the next after that. Each time gives you a new experience where you’re able to learn and tweak your approach; until you finally find the one that works for you and land the girl of your dreams. Happy dating!

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Asking a girl to be your girlfriend might have you hyperventilating. Take a deep breath. Instead of freaking out, learn how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend by finding the perfect spot, words and time. You can also choose to go the cute route and really have her falling for you.

Be Clear

According to Psychology Today, one of the tips for preparing for an anxiety-inducing conversation is to consider how the other person probably feels. Consider her feelings while planning what you want to say. Nervousness might make you fumble with your words and accidentally avoid asking the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?” Don’t be vague; you don’t want to walk away from the conversation wondering if she’s your girlfriend or not.

Wording Suggestions

These wording suggestions are ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend clearly:

• “Will you be my girlfriend?”
• “You’re the only girl I want. Will you please be my girlfriend?”
• “I like you very much, and I’d like you to be my girlfriend. What do you say?”
• “I know you, and I would make a great couple. Will you be my girlfriend?”
• “You will make me the happiest person in the world if you say yes to being my girlfriend. What do you think?”
• “I think it’s time we take our friendship to the next level. Will you be my girlfriend?”

The key to asking her is to make sure and ask the actual question rather than beating around the bush. This way, there are no misunderstandings at the conclusion of the conversation. Keep in mind, with such a direct question, the girl may not be ready to give an answer right away and may need time to think it over. If this is the case, try to be patient while suggesting a specific day and time when you can check back in with her to get her answer. Appropriate wording for this situation might be, “I understand you want to think it over. How about we talk about this again on Monday, and you can give me your answer then?”

How to Ask Over Text

Though it may seem old-fashioned, this conversation is best had face-to-face when possible. If it has to occur via text or computer (such as with a long-distance relationship), you still want to make sure that you’re clear. Try out one of these easy texts to become a teen couple:

• I only want to date you, will you be my gf?
• I’m ready to be your boyfriend, are you ready to be my girlfriend?
• Can we make it official and be boyfriend/girlfriend?
• Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?
• I’m in this for the long-term, wanna be my girlfriend?

Go Directly to Her

Don’t allow your desire for a girlfriend to turn into a weird game of telephone. Don’t send your friend to ask on your behalf.

Right Time and Place

Setting the stage for asking a girl to be your girlfriend should revolve around what makes the both of you the most comfortable. Be sure to choose a location where the two of you will be able to focus on one another. A crowded party where you have to yell over other people is not an ideal setting, for example.

A special spot that means something to the two of you (such as where you first met or a place she loves) this makes an ideal spot for asking because it adds romance and helps her understand how much time you spent thinking this over. She’ll understand this was not a spur-of-the-moment decision you may later regret.

It’s best to do this without an audience; don’t allow friends or bystanders to turn the situation into a spectacle or make her feel pressured.

Timing Is Important

Before asking a girl to be your girlfriend, it’s important to look at your relationship and decide if you’re ready for that commitment. Most teens don’t get into official romantic relationships until around age 15. What the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” mean to each person are different, but if you’ve been talking for two to three weeks, have been on four or five dates, and feel like you don’t want to date other people you could take your relationship to official status. Try to select a time when there aren’t time constraints, so the conversation isn’t rushed. For example, asking while passing through the halls on the way to the next class will probably make her feel like she’s under pressure to decide and her knee-jerk reaction may be to say no.

The Cute Route

If you take some time beforehand to plan out the moment of asking her to be your girlfriend, there are plenty of cute ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. Be advised, if the girl isn’t the type of person who would enjoy something cute, then using a cute way to ask her out may send the message you don’t truly know her or might make her uncomfortable.

• Write out your question in chalk, either in her driveway or along her walking path to school. Be sure to sign it.
• Present her with a cake or cookie with icing that spells out the question for you.
• Give her a heart (jewelry, or drawn, or folded paper) and say, “Now that I’ve given you my heart, will you be my girlfriend?”
• LifeDaily suggests buying a talking teddy bear that allows you to record your voice asking her out and presenting it as a gift.

The Big Moment

It’s important to go into the moment confident and ready. On the other hand, don’t rehearse so much beforehand that the moment becomes a monolog where you don’t listen to her response. Whether you plan an elaborate moment or keep it low key, make sure your intentions are clear, and you try to help her feel at ease. The less awkward and anxious you feel the more comfortable the moment will be.

Do you really have to know how to introduce yourself to a girl?

Well, yeah…at least if you want to…

Where will you meet her?

You need to have this skill. Think about it. Every interaction, no matter where and when, starts with a simple introduction. Unfortunately, a lot of guys use these three seconds to mess up a potential three-year relationship.

This can be easily avoided.

Just don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t walk up to a girl like a total creep. And don’t start off the conversation with a lame joke about why women have less brain cells than men. Don’t laugh. I did that once.

Okay, you’re probably smarter than me.

But you still need to know how to make an amazing first impression…

6 Tips to Introduce Yourself to a Girl and Get Her Number

Let me start this article with an important message:

Warning, warning, this article will self-destruct in five seconds. Okay, that was a joke and a terrible one. Sorry for that. But yes, I really have to warn you. I have to warn you that the following tips contain very basic information.

But they can make all the difference.

I decided to include some basic tips AND specific situations. Yep, I want to show you how to introduce yourself to a girl in different situations. I also link to guides in which I talk about these different situations in detail. I hope you like it.

But first, let’s start with the basic tips…

1. Introduce Yourself with a Smile

I saw it so many times.

I’ve done dozens of one-on-one coaching sessions over the last couple of years. I coached young men, old men, guys who never had a girlfriend, and divorced men. All of my coaching clients are great men and now also great seducers, but most of them had one flaw.

They didn’t smile.

Hey, I warned you. The advice is basic but important. Most aspiring seducers don’t do it. They just don’t. They walk up to a girl looking like the lovechild of the Terminator and Silvester Stallone after too many Botox injections.

I know why they do it:

Start with a smile. Then walk up to her. Smile before you take the first step. This won’t just make you feel better. It will ensure that you actually smile when you introduce yourself. And believe me, an introduction without a smile is not a good idea.

She doesn’t know if you’re a decent guy who wants to say “hi” or a psychopath who wants to rape her.

Without a smile she’ll assume the latter.

2. Introduce Yourself and the Situation

Pickup artists call this the situational opener.

You introduce yourself to a girl by mentioning the situation. This means that your approach changes with the environment. You don’t have one specific line. You adjust your opener to the place you’re in or the time you’re meeting her.

Let me give you a few examples:

• In a club: “The music sucks but wow, you are really beautiful.”
• At the park: “I just came here to read a book, but then I saw you.”
• At night: “I know that it’s already dark but I have to know your name.”
• At the train station: “I hope your train is late because I have to tell you something.”

These are just a couple of examples.

All you have to do is to adjust your opener to the situation.

3. Shake the Hand of a Woman

That’s another mistake some of my coaching clients make.

Of course, they only make this mistake until I correct it. Then they do it correctly. The result: A smiling girl and a new number in their phone. The change is so small, yet so powerful. It’s about the way you shake a woman’s hand.

Here’s how most men do it:

I know. You’ve shaken a lot of hands in your career. You know how it’s done. But let me tell you something. Shaking the hand of a business man is not the same as shaking the hand of fragile woman who’s physically weaker than you.

Here’s how a seducer shakes a woman’s hand:

Do you see the difference?

Shake her hand as if it was a precious flower.

4. Say Your Name and Try to Remember Hers

We love to hear our names.

Blame your parents. It’s not only your mom’s fault that you thought buying flowers and chocolate for a girl will get you late. It’s also her fault (your dad is also not innocent) that you love to hear your name…you little narcissist.

But seriously, hearing your name gives you the feeling of being engaged.

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s the goal of an approach. You want to engage her in the conversation. That’s why asking her for her name. And yes, you have to remember it…even if it’s terribly long.

Here’s why:

You should mention her name every couple of minutes. Salesmen do this all the time…some of them way too many times. But anyway, you’re a seducer. Your job is to sell yourself and your sexual service. So don’t forget to mention her name.

She’ll remember how her daddy used to call her. Now you can be her daddy.

5. Don’t Forget the Positive Feelings

That’s the most important rule if you want to learn how to introduce yourself to a girl. Don’t behave like your average German. I only made it to the other side because I said “bye bye” to my home country a long time ago.

Here’s what you shouldn’t do: